


Bunny Bunny

by InsominiacArrest



Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Drabble, F/M, Fluff, Slice of Life, dares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-17
Updated: 2016-03-17
Packaged: 2018-05-27 05:34:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6271801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsominiacArrest/pseuds/InsominiacArrest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The break room hijinks of our favorite ZPD police officers as they stave off boredom in their own way</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bunny Bunny

“Is it true that bunnies can fit 20 doughnuts in their mouths?” That's how it started. With one question presented as unassuming enough.

 

“I don't think so fox.” Judy said, absently wiping crumbs off her paw.

 

They were in the break room between shifts; just them, the grey walls, two chairs, a fridge, a table missing a foot and a broken microwave that sparked every now and then. And Nick was asking her if she could fit twenty doughnuts in her bunny-cheeks.

 

“But I heard they could.”

 

“ _Nick_.” She stresses, “not everything you hear about bunnies is going to be true.”

 

“Yeah,” he raises one of his eyebrows like he does, “but some of them are,” he grabs another doughnut, “for instance, I can in fact do a somersault.”

 

Judy snorts, “right. You, a somersault.”

 

“It’s a fox thing.” He says dismissively as he looks at his nails.

 

She crosses her arms, “right, and I’ll fit twenty doughnuts on my mouth and you can somersault.”

 

“You’re right.” He says as he sits back in one of the chairs with the arm missing, “we all know you couldn’t do it anyway.”

 

Judy narrows her eyes, “I could."

 

"Sure." He pats her on the head. 

"I could!" She huffs.

"Easy. It's only a," He looks into the air and twirls a finger, "suggestion. If you're bunny-enough." He seemed to be all-too amused by this set up.

 

She stands up tall with her ears raised, "get me two dozen doughnuts. Glazed.”

 

Nick sits up straight, face split in two by an open-mouth grin, “really?”

 

“But it’s not about being a bunny! It’s about," she blows air out her nose, "proving a point.”

 

“Obviously.”

 

Judy tilts her head, unsure if she was being played. 

 

“Hey Clawhauser!” Nick dashed into the hall, “ _guess what Judy is gonna do._ ” Judy lowers her ears.

 

The dozen donuts came within the hour, and so does half the precinct.

 

Elephants surrounded her alongside excited panthers and at least one German shepherd who didn't even work there.

 

“15!” They cheer.

 

Judy squeezed her eyes shut and opened her mouth wider, come on, she was built for this! She tells herself as she forces yet another baked good into her mouth.

“16!”

The first nine had gone in easy, her cheeks smoothly accommodating the crumbling confections, and the thrill of proving someone wrong fueling her determination.

 

Of course, it had got a little...more difficult after that. Her world became the taste of over-saturated sweetness.

 

“17!” Everything was sticky. Sticky, ugly crumbs that stretch of her mouth over another, yes another, syrupy doughnut that stretched her jaw to its limit.

 

“18!”

 

Judy stopped. She couldn’t do another, it was too gooey, soft, clumpy. Doughnuts. She turns to Nick instead, making a circle with her finger. He looks at her lamely before she does it again with more emphasis, the room turns to him.

 

“What?" His eyes dart around, "Now?” He says in slight dubiety.

 

Judy nodded adamantly.

 

"But," he looks around, then raises his ears smoothly, "all you've got is two more, carrots." They turn back to her.

 

“Two more Judy!” Clawhauser reminds her, thrusting the last of the two dozen pastry's at her, the crowd leans in. Nick winks.

She takes a deep breath.

“Unless you can’t.”

Judy grabs another sweet roll, shrinks it and shoves it unwillingly into her overflowing mouth.

 

“19!” They all clap their hooves or paws and their eyes go wide as the break room descends into a hush.

 

“Do it Judy, you can do it.” Clawhauser whispers.

Her eyes were watering, it was hard to breath, all she could taste was sweet, sickly glazed sugar and her own discomfort. She bites the bullet. Or doughnut in this case.

“20!”

She knits her eyebrows together, everything in her tenses, the room is still like the grave, and finally, finally she forces her mouth closed over the 20 doughnuts.

“Ah!"

“Woo!”

"Oh my God, _girl._ "

The room explodes, “she did it! She really did it!”

“Twenty! That beats Furrtons record by five.”

 

“Say it, say it!” Someone exclaims, leaning in towards her with their large round eyes, she blinks slowly, unamused.

 

“Come on Judy, you’ve come this far,” Nick leans on her shoulder casually, “you have to say it.”

 

She rolls her eyes, “mummee,mummee.” Bunny. Bunny.

 

The room roars, 'she said it!' and she can’t believe what she does for this department.

 

She turns her eyes sharply on Nick and points at the ground.

 

“I can’t do that in here cotton tail.” He says firmly when the whooping simmers down.

 

Judy points more aggressively towards the ground, his sharp eyes crinkle. 

 

“What’s she want?” An excited wolf prompts.

 

“I sort of told her I would do a somersault. If she crammed 20 donuts in her cheeks that is.” He rubs that back of his neck, “and she can! Look at that.”

 

Bored animals and too much energy turned out to be a bad thing. Crying of ‘do it!’ chorused around the precinct members. 'Acrobatics are a fox thing, right?' Someone whispered and Judy growled at them behind her mouth full of mush.

 

Nick seemed to have painted himself into a corner however, she would be laughing if she had any idea on how to get the goop of soggy-pastry out of her mouth without disgusting herself.

 

“I don’t practice this sort of thing.” He says slowly, putting his arms in the air, “it’s really not my expertise.”

“We won’t laugh.”

Nick does a couple false starts before a wilder beast yells, “just do it!”

 

Nick puts his arms fully in the air and teeters forward, head over tail toward the ceiling,

"Ooh~"

He threw himself into the air in a little tuck, an athletic display onto itself until he came back down, descending into a spectacular fumble, landing squarely on his face as his tongue lolled out.

 

Judy chokes as she begins to laugh.

“Hehe, ack,” she crumples to her knees besides Nick, who was giving the most blase look she could imagine, “ahah, ugk,” she laughs and the food starts to leak out, she covers her mouth, but she makes the mistake of looking at Nick one more time. She ends up spiting up twenty mushy cheek-doughnuts on the floor as she laughs.

 

“Ew. Judy.”

 

A polar bear eyes her and her spit-pastry ball, “I’m going.” The officers loose interest in their display of simple-minded antics and Judy continues to hack while Nick seems to contemplate the ceiling very intensely.

 

“Nice one Wilde.” They salute him on the way out on their out.

 

“Don’t _choke_ on the job Hopps.” They pat her on the back and snicker.

 

Nick glances at her, “we brought this on ourselves didn’t we?”

 

She coughs one last time, trying to clear her throat, “yep.”

 

He sighs, “Next time _I’ll_ eat 20 donuts and you fall on your face.”

 

Judy shakes her head, “no deal.” She chuckles, “let’s just stop taking breaks, yeah?”

 

He laughs, “I don’t think so workaholic," he chuckles, "nice job by the way. I'll admit I was a little impressed." 

 

"Thanks!" She chirps, "you too."

  
He gives a dead pan look, "Don't be funny with me bunny."

 

"No. Really, you have the makings of a real," she covers her mouth, " _fall_ artist."

He pretends to die, "ugh, please, Carrots. You're killing me."

"Like Con artist?" She says excitedly, snorting. "Except fall."

 

"I'll stick with telling the jokes. You stick with, I don't know, _doughnut patrol._ "

 

"Oh come on!" She was definitely funny.

 

"I'm serious!" He puts his paws in the air, "Doughnuts-at-large are a problem, there a lot of pastry crime you could defeat with those cheeks." He pokes her, she bites at him.

 

They laugh, and Judy feels a little silly for once.

 

"Also,” he glances at her up and down, and then wrinkles his noise “you should clean that up.”

  
She wipes her mouth and nods with a cringe. It would be a long time before they got rid of the stories of 'bunny bunny,' and the 'great fall.'

 

Judy can't eat doughnuts for a month. She does however teach Nick how to a somersault--on their next break.


End file.
